Therapy for teenagers: a parent's guide to knowing when to step in

The hard part: knowing what's normal

Adolescence is a time of big changes, in mood, identity, friendships and independence. Some moodiness, withdrawal and pushing back is a normal part of growing up. That's exactly what makes it hard for parents to know when their teen is just being a teen, and when something more is going on.

Signs that it might be more than ups and downs

It's worth paying closer attention if you notice changes that are persistent, intense or interfering with daily life, such as:

• Ongoing sadness, irritability or anxiety that lasts for weeks
• Withdrawing from friends, family or activities they used to enjoy
• Changes in sleep, appetite or energy
• A drop in school attendance or performance
• Preoccupation with appearance, weight or food
• Increased risk-taking, or talk of hopelessness or self-harm

Anything suggesting your teen may be unsafe always warrants prompt support, when in doubt, reach out.

How to start the conversation

You don't need the perfect words. Often the most powerful thing is simply being available and non-judgemental:

• Pick a low-pressure moment (a drive or a walk often works better than face-to-face).
• Lead with curiosity, not solutions: 'I've noticed you've seemed flat lately, how are you really doing?'
• Listen more than you talk, and resist the urge to fix it straight away.
• Let them know that wanting support is normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

How therapy helps teenagers

A psychologist provides a confidential, supportive space where young people can make sense of what they're feeling and build practical skills for managing emotions, stress and relationships. For teens, the therapeutic relationship itself, having a trusted adult outside the family, can be a big part of what helps. Parents are usually involved in age-appropriate ways, while still respecting the young person's privacy.

Looking after yourself, too

Supporting a struggling teenager is hard on parents. Getting advice for yourself, and looking after your own wellbeing, isn't indulgent; it helps you show up steadily for your child.

If you're concerned about your teen, reaching out to a psychologist who works with young people is a good next step, for them, and for you.